A Marked Lack of Forethought
by The Mighty Ckikzilla
Summary: In which Vi has a lot of trouble with girls because she's an idiot who never thinks before she acts and doesn't realize that her actions have consequences (such as ridiculous amounts of property damage). AKA Gay Cops: The Fanfic
1. Bad Cop, Bad Cop

_**A Marked Lack Of Forethought**_

_**Chapter One: Bad Cop, Bad Cop**_

It was just after dusk, and grey storm-clouds hung heavy in the sky, a sight that seemed like it would never give up and make way for the stars it hid. All the shops on stall of the downtown roads were closed, and most citizens were tucked away safely in bed for the night, away from the coming rainstorm. Though it tended to be a rather boring routine, the Enforcer liked to think of her late-night rounds as a quick evening stroll. They tended to be easy enough, and she would find herself daydreaming about bursting into action to save the day, punching baddies and saving orphans, that kind of heroic stuff, and perhaps entertaining the occasional thought of her charming supervisor.

Just as she was about to sink into one of those explosion-filled daydreams, she spotted a few figures darting into the shadows of an alley just off the main market street. She let herself grin a little. _Finally, some action,_ she thought, hustling to the corner where the figures had disappeared and quickly donning her gauntlets and silently flicking the switch to power them on. Focusing, she heard a few voices, raspy and whispering in the alleyway.

"Now like I said, there ain't nothin' to it. We tape up da windows so dey don't make no noise, smash 'em in and take everything in da place. It's get in, get out, get back to da place and split up da goods. Got it?" a low, scratchy voice muttered, coughing between words.  
"What if we get caught, boss?"

_Slap!_

"Why d'yas think I planned dis at night? Ain't nobody out 'ere to catch us. Now let's go, we's got some jewels to nab."

They scurried down the alley, apparently headed for the jewelry shop off of the main market street. From the sound of their footsteps, she guessed there were 4 of them; certainly not enough to handle her. She rounded the corner and headed down the alley after them, turning another corner just in time to see the group of rogues bash the windows of the shop in. They didn't seem to notice her presence, so she casually walked up behind them, arms crossed over her chest and a smug grin on her face.

"What're you guys doing out here this late? You know this shop is _closed_, right?" She said sarcastically. All four men turned to look at her, their jaws slacking in a mix of shock and terror, and she let out a chuckle in response. "Do you know who I am? From the looks on your faces I take it you know who I am."

"Please don't hurt us," the leader said, and shakily reached into his coat pocket to pull out a crinkled roll of bills. "Please, we'll give you dis. It's all I got."

Vi raised an eyebrow and looked the group up and down, an idea suddenly starting to formulate in her head. Suddenly, she snatched the money from the man's grimy hand, inspecting its genuineness and counting it up. "Yeah, whatever," she said, turning away from the group. "You guys have 'til the count of 3 to get your asses outta here before I change my mind."

With that, the men took off running, pure relief covering each of their faces as they realized that they were spared; or so they thought. She quickly found her way to a rooftop and watched the direction that they fled in. Her mind was already in motion, fleshing out the idea that had popped into her mind shortly before, and she grinned at her own thoughts as she watched the crooks disappear inside of a hidden door in a small alleyway. She quickly memorized the location and jumped down to head back to HQ and tell the Sheriff of her brilliant plan.

"And you're to tell me that you just let them _leave_ like that? You saw a crime in progress and didn't think to _stop_ it?" Her superior hissed at her from behind her desk, a look of pure annoyance donning her face.

"Well I mean, I did try to stop them but they ran away!" She pleaded, lying through her teeth. "I saw where they went though, so we can still catch them!"

"If you saw where they went, why didn't you just _go after them_?"

"Because I wanted to report it to you first?"

Caitlyn closed her eyes in exasperation and let out a sigh, rubbing at her temple to quell her rising headache, before opening them again to glare up at her subordinate. "Well, whatever the reason I suppose we should go _apprehend _them now, shouldn't we?"

"Yeah we should let's go do that!" Vi said quickly, rushing for the door before the Sheriff could even stand up.

"This is it!" Vi said proudly, standing before the hidden door she had seen the crooks scurry into earlier that evening. The trip had been rather quick, as Caitlyn had suggested that they take one of the carriages to carry the crooks back to the station in. "This is where I saw them go. Pretty sharp, eh, Cupcake?"

Caitlyn rolled her eyes in response. "_Well_? Then break it open, since that seems to be the only thing you can do correctly."

The Enforcer grinned as she powered up a punch aimed right for the door. Everything was working in accordance with her brilliant plan so far. She'd rush in and knock out the guys before they could react, they'll take them into custody and the lovely Sheriff herself will congratulate Vi for her hard work, _personally_. She let loose the punch and the door crumbled in on itself, spreading dust and debris everywhere, and she stepped in, readying another punch before anyone in the room had time to react.

"The hell is dis? What da fuck's goin' on?" she heard the voice of the leader through the thick cloud of dust but couldn't see him, so she blindly let loose the blow in the direction the sound came from. She could tell immediately that she had made impact with someone, knocking the air out of them and causing them to crumple to the ground. Three other panicked voices sounded in the dust and she released strike after strike until she was sure they were all knocked out cold. She stood motionless as she waited for the dust to settle. She looked around to once again confirm that all four of the rogues where motionless on the concrete before pulling two pairs of handcuffs from her belt. Caitlyn followed in behind her, two more sets of handcuffs at the ready.

As Vi approached the leader and knelt down to lock his hands in place, he managed to look up at her, eyes widening in surprise. "_You_! You said you'd let us go, you cunt! What about all dat cash-" she punched him hard in the back of the head to shut him up, the feeling of panic starting to rise in her throat. Caitlyn stopped and whipped around to look at her with a look of fury in her eyes.

Vi quickly stood up and held her hands up in a gesture of pleading. "Listen, I'll explain, okay? Let's get these guys all locked up first, right?" she chuckled nervously. Her superior turned around briskly and quickly finished apprehending the KO'd crooks.

The ride back to the station was killed with an unnerving silence, Vi sitting in the carriage with the unconscious criminals mostly to avoid making eye contact with the angered Sheriff.

Vi sat atop the empty desk in vulnerable silence, gauntlets discarded to the side of the desk, as the Sheriff stared her down from the other side of her office. "Care to explain yourself?" she spat?

"Well, you see, I…" she started, sweat forming on her brow. "I _was _gonna just knock 'em out and bring 'em back, but then they offered me some money and I figured it couldn't hurt to take the cash _and_ take them in, right? I wasn't really gonna let them off the hook."

"_And?_" Caitlyn tapped her foot, clearly annoyed at the Enforcer's clear lack of any sort of common sense.

"And I was hoping that I could uh, use the money to, um…" she trailed off to a whisper, her cheeks starting to turn red.

"_Speak up_," Caitlyn ordered.

"I thought 'hey, maybe I could take you out on a nice date somewhere with all that money!' It _seemed_ like a good enough idea in my head!" her face was bright red at this point, and she looked down at the floor with a nervous frown. To her surprise, she heard a soft chuckle from across the room. She looked up to see the Sheriff walking towards her, stopping just a foot in front of her, arms crossed, shifting her tone back to one of seriousness.

"If you were _anyone_ else, you'd be fired on the spot, do you understand me?"

Vi nodded quickly in response.

"That's not to say that you won't go without punishment. Your lack of forethought got you into this mess. It won't kill you to think before you act once in a while."

She began to nod again but was caught off guard when she was pushed roughly against the desk, the Sheriff's lips pressed forcefully against her own. She froze completely and felt her face heat up again. When her superior had finally backed off, she could only stare at her with a shocked and flustered expression. It was only a few seconds of shock before she noticed the tugging on her wrists when she tried to move them. She tried to pull her arms from behind her and then it hit her. She was helplessly handcuffed to the desk. She opened her mouth to ask what the hell was going on but a second wave of realization washed over her just before she did.

"I said I needed to punish you for your bad judgment, did I not?" Caitlyn loomed over her, a look of smugness encompassing all of her features. "It'll be quick and painless," she muttered, cupping the Enforcer's face in her hand. "Well,_ relatively_."

"So is this like, 'Good Cop, Bad Cop'?" Vi asked breathlessly, her eyes lit up with anticipation

"Sort of. Except there is no good cop," she replied, pressing her lips to the other woman's for the second time.

There was no shock this time, but the embarrassment was still there, and she could feel her face light up again and she could audibly hear her heart pounding in her chest. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt Caitlyn start to kiss down her neck and run her hand up the outside of her thigh. She slowly felt her body calming down under her superior's touch, one she'd longed to feel for who knows how long.

She was shocked from her thoughts when she felt teeth sink into the skin of her neck, causing her to let out an embarrassingly loud gasp. Her face felt even hotter than it did before, but she didn't have much time to recover before the Sheriff starting leaving a trail of kisses down her collar, the occasional bite making her let out an involuntary gasp. She felt a leg move up to start rubbing the area between her thighs. "Cait," she moaned, not thinking twice about the obvious display of vulnerability.

Without warning, Caitlyn backed off, looking her subordinate directly in the eyes with a glare that could cut through diamond. "I take it you learned your lesson?"

"Yeah, Cupcake," she said, her breaths just a bit shallow. "Think before I blah-blah whatever."

The Sheriff silently got up and put her jacket on, walking towards the door to her office.

"Whoa, hold on, Cupcake? You're done? Can you un-handcuff me from your desk then?"

"Goodnight, Vi. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning, _Officer_," she said with a wink and continued back towards the door.

"Hey wait just a goddam-" the sound of the door clicking behind the Sheriff as she left interrupted her. "Fuck you, Cait!" she shouted after her.

"_You wish_," was the muffled reply that she could barely hear through the door.

She let her head hit the desk in defeat. "Fuckin' bitch. Why the hell do I even like you so much…"


	2. You're Not Being Obvious Or Anything

_**A Marked Lack of Forethought**_

**Chapter 2: You're Not Being Obvious Or Anything**

It was ridiculously hot out, the sky clear of clouds for once and the sun beating down relentlessly. Vi had just finished her early afternoon patrol, her gauntlets strapped to her back because it was far too hot to wear them. It had been three days since her "genius" plan went down. In hindsight, it hadn't really gotten her anywhere. Her wrists were still slightly sore and she was still confused about what exactly goes on in her supervisor's mind, but when isn't she? She'd been forced to donate her hard-earned (?) money to the police station, so in addition to being out of ideas, now she was out of cash again, too.

Her lunch break would be starting soon and she decided that she needed advice. It was a rare occurrence that she'd actually swallow her pride and ask someone for help, but now was as good a time as any. But who did she know that gave good advice? Who did she know that was good enough with the ladies to help her win over the heart of the most badass cop in Piltover?

First stop: Jayce's apartment.

She gave a few hard knocks to the door of the Defender's apartment, completely ignoring the fact that he had a doorbell. She stood at the door for a good 20 seconds before she knocked again even harder and almost clocked the scientist in the face just as he opened it. Upon seeing who it was, he let out a resigned sigh and opened the door to let her in without her even having to ask. She sat down on the couch, making herself at home.

Just as the scientist opened his mouth to ask her a question, she said, rather loudly, "I guess you're wondering why I'm here."

"I was just about to ask you that, actually," he said with another sigh.

"I want to ask you for advice," she said bluntly, looking away. Jayce replied with a dumbstruck expression. "I know what you're thinking. _'What could I, Jayce, Piltover's biggest dumbest loser, Defender of Assfacedness, possibly know more about than the awesome and beautiful Vi?'_" she said dramatically. He rolled his eyes. "Well, to put it simply… you're good with girls, right?"

"Am I good with girls? What?"

"Oh, right, you're probably _gay_ aren't you?" she said mockingly. His eyebrow twitched involuntarily. "Anyway, uh, ya see… I- _somebody I know_ is trying to get this really pretty and awesome and badass girl to go on a date with them. How exactly would that person go about doing that?"

"Well, you just have to smile at them and be cool," he said proudly, oblivious to the fact that she was lying through her teeth about the situation. "And then they just flock to you. No effort required."

"That doesn't sound like it'll really work," she squinted at him.

"It does for me," he smirked. Vi was out the door before he could even finish his sentence.

_Charming, but also a dumbass and a douchebag_, she noted to herself.

She had already wasted most of her lunch break wandering around town looking for any sort of useful advice, but not finding any. Zilean only talked in weird riddles that she didn't get, Heimerdinger cares more about science than he does about ladies, and Ezreal is a little loser so she didn't even bother with him. Defeated, she walked down to the docks to pay a visit to her favorite deli while she still had time. She wandered in and sat down at the counter, ordering a 'whatever sandwich on two slices of I-don't-care bread'.

"Well, you sure look a little gloomy, today," the person next to her said, chuckling to herself. Vi turned to see Leona sitting next to her, an empty plate and a half-empty champagne glass on the counter in front of her. "Whatever could have rained on your parade?"

"I've been trying to get some advice, uh, for a friend, but I haven't had any luck."

"Maybe I could be of some assistance?" she suggested.

"Are you good with girls?" Vi mumbled, blushing a little bit.

"I'd like to think I'm qualified enough to help you," she smiled. "What seems to be your dilemma?"

"Ah, well, _a friend of mine_ likes this girl and she's like really cool and awesome but also super oblivious to everything and _this friend_ wants to ask this girl out on a date but they don't know what they're supposed to do, or where to go, or how to even do that in the first place."

Leona responded with a knowing smile. "Be confident with yourself. You have nothing to be worried about," she said, already catching on to the situation. "You could invite her here for lunch; after all, it _is_ your favorite place to eat, is it not? The best sandwiches in town for the best price."

"Holy shit, that's an awesome idea," Vi grinned, but then furrowed her brow slightly and mumbled, "Why didn't I think of that? Oh damn, my lunch break is almost over. Hey, Harlow, can I get that sandwich to go?" she yelled to the man in the kitchen

"That certainly seemed to brighten up your day," Leona smiled at her. "I wish you the best of luck."

"Ah, I- it's advice for a friend. I have to go tell them and all that, ya know?" she chuckled nervously. Just as she turned back to face the counter, a paper bag was handed to her.

"Your sandwich," said the man behind the counter, a hood concealing his face. Vi squinted at the man, not sure who he was.

"Since you're out of kitchen, could you be so kind as to refill my glass, sunshine?" Leona smirked at the man.

"It's too early in the day to be drinking." He said bluntly.

"It's never too early to celebrate, Pantheon."

"Hey I didn't know that you worked here!" Vi said a little too loudly, and the man shushed her.

"And you still don't," he mumbled, though it was the most menacing mumble she'd ever heard. Somebody yelled to him from in the kitchen, and he took the now empty glass from the counter and walked silently back to the kitchen.

"Isn't he just charming?" Leona laughed. "As soon as you get back to the station, tell your boss I said hi. Vi nodded and made her way out the door, waving and thanking her endlessly for the advice. Just as she turned to head back to the station, Pantheon made his way back to the counter, a full glass in his hand. "It must be nice to be so young and carefree," she commented, smiling at the hooded man again.

"You are still young as well."

She laughed wholeheartedly at his reply, taking a sip from her glass. "I suppose I am."


	3. Literally Actually For Real

_**A Marked Lack of Forethought**_

_**Chapter 3: Literally Actually For Real**_

It was barely even bright out at this point, the sun just started to peak over the line of big shiny buildings on the horizon. There were awful-looking clouds covering the sky again, a sign that it would probably rain again later, as it usually did during the summers in Piltover. On any other day she wouldn't be up this early, but a mix of excitement and nervousness had denied her a sound sleep. She spent so much time uncharacteristically ironing her uniform jacket that she didn't bother eating breakfast. Even though it was still a little early, she left for work, and arrived on time for the first time since she started working at the station.

She was hopeful and incredibly confident, despite not having even a semblance of a plan. She clocked in and immediately left for her morning patrol, walking around the market street and chatting with the shop keepers as they open up their businesses for the day. Like usual, it was a peaceful and pretty damn boring patrol. By this time, she'd be lost in a day dream but her mind was blank, no mischievous half-plans brewing, no heroic hijinks playing in her mind like a badly written movie, just a whole lot of anxiousness. The morning continued like that and she wandered around downtown past her first patrol and into her second, completely forgetting about her 10 o'clock break.

So lost in her lack of thoughts, she almost walked right past a dark alley without hearing a small cry for help. She immediately rushed back a few steps, flicking the switch to power on her gauntlets, feeling them pulse and release a bit of steam as the gears started to crank. A wiry, devious-looking mugger had a young, well-dressed man help up against the wall by his collar, shouting at him and spitting all over the boy as a result.

"Hey, say it, don't spray it, little man," the Enforcer said mockingly, flicking him away effortlessly. He flew back a few feet, but caught himself with a roll and was on his feet again instantly, running towards her with a wild look in his eyes. She picked up the boy as gently as she could manage, making sure not to squish him in her huge gloves and placing him behind her as the mugger dashed at her. She went for an uppercut, but he side-stepped it swiftly and ducked down, pulling out a knife and aiming a swing at her. She grabbed his arm and twisted it, throwing him to the ground, but he was back on his feet again in a second. "You're really persistent, aren't you, shrimp?" she launched a left hook at him but he slid under her gauntlet and madly slashed in the general direction of her face. His rusty little shiv cut into her cheek once, leaving a jagged cut. She grimaced, more at the fact that he had landed a hit on her than the pain itself. She picked him up by his arm just as he went to swing at her again and batted him against the wall like a dusty rug. He groaned in pain, a lot of things making cracking noises, and she threw him onto the concrete face first. Just as he attempted to push himself up again, his arms shaking heavily, she stomped ruthlessly on the back of his head, pushing him back onto the concrete and knocking him out cold. She kicked him one more time just for good measure.

The cowering boy behind her finally spoke up, his round face marked with dirt and tears. "Th-th-thank you! I thought he was gonna kill me!" he sniffled, his voice cracking as he attempted to straighten the wrinkles out of his expensive looking jacket.

"Hey, no problem, champ. It's my job," she grinned, picking up the unconscious mugger and throwing him over her shoulder, a bit of blood leaking from his crooked nose. It wasn't the helping people that she liked as much as it was the beating the piss out of ugly criminals. She carried the KO'd crook back to the station, dropping him in front of the jailer's desk and the on-duty guard gave her a half confused, half annoyed look. "Put that crack-head somewhere."

She proceeded up the stairs and down the hall, loudly throwing open the door to the sheriff's office and greeting her loudly and eagerly. "'Sup, Cupcake?" she said with a grin.

Caitlyn looked up from her paperwork with her usual look of disinterest. "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was out on patrol this morning and there was this mugger and I beat his ugly face in," she said proudly. "With _minimal_ property damage," she added.

"I meant what happened to your face."

"Oh, right," she frowned slightly, wiping her cheek with her sleeve. "He got a hit in on me, no big deal. I put some extra hurt on him for that."

"That looks awful, come here," she said, just a slight bit of concern showing in her otherwise demanding voice. She pulled a small first-aid kit out of her desk drawer as the Enforcer sat down on her desk.

"It's fine seriousl-" she was interrupted by a slight hiss of pain as her superior rubbed a bit of cleaning alcohol on the gash, followed up with some antibacterial cream. "Ow, _fuck_," she cringed, slightly teary-eyed. Caitlyn fished around in the kit for a bandaid, pulling out a light pink one and covering the wound with it before closing the box and putting it back in the drawer. "I'm not a little kid, ya know," Vi pouted.

"You sure do act like one sometimes," the Sheriff said softly, kissing her on the forehead. As Vi stood up from her spot on the desk and took a few steps back towards the door, her stomach grumbled like an angry voidling, and she remembered her half-baked plan. She turned around to face Caitlyn, who had already sat back down at her desk and was looking through her paperwork again.

"Hey, Cupcake," Vi said with a nervous grin. "Come eat lunch with me?"

The Sheriff looked at her for a moment, furrowing her brow slightly before she said "Alright," and got up from her desk, grabbing her jacket and following Vi out of the room, locking it behind her.

They arrived at the Crooked Butcher Deli at around 1 in the afternoon, the same time Vi would usually come in by herself to enjoy a quick lunch after her patrols were done. She greeted the owner just as enthusiastically as she would any other day, and they sat down at the counter.

"The usual, Harlow. Ah, two of them this time," she grinned.

The rather rotund man nodded and scurried back into the kitchen which was bursting with its usual noise at the busiest time of the day. Vi sat in silence while they waited for their sandwiches, twiddling her thumbs nervously while her superior calmly sipped her coffee and looked around, examining every detail of the place.

"It's very quaint," Caitlyn said after a while. Vi laughed nervously in response. She honestly had no idea what that word meant, but she figured it was a good thing. The sandwiches arrived just in time and she smiled brightly as one of the kitchen staff handed them their plates.

"You're about to experience the most _epic_ sandwich, like, _ever_ in your whole _life_. I'm not even kidding; these are _literally_ the best thing in the world." And the Enforcer's entire sandwich was gone without a trace before the Sheriff could even put down her cup of coffee. She raised an eyebrow at the woman sitting next to her.

The rest of their lunch break was spent with Caitlyn slowly picking at her sandwich while Vi talked excitedly to her about nothing in particular. Mostly explosions, actually. She actually just talked for about 10 minutes about her love of punching things and making them explode. It was a hobby. "Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Hey, ya know what else I like besides punching things?"

Caitlyn glanced up at her from her cup of coffee, a half-interested look on her face.

"You. I like you," she said before she realized what she had just done. She felt her face light up as she struggled to think of something that would make her last statement sound any less stupid. "I mean, I-"

"I like you, too," her superior replied nonchalantly, looking back down at her beverage. "Lunch break is almost over," she added coolly. Vi couldn't see what her own face looked like right now, but she guessed it was probably really red. She quietly mumbled to the man behind the counter to put today's lunch on her tab, and the pair got up from their seats, heading for the door, the Sheriff walking a step in front of her Enforcer.

Just as Vi opened her mouth to say something, though she wasn't quite sure what she intended to say, Caitlyn took the Enforcer's hand loosely in her own. "I had a nice time."

Vi replied with a huge grin, involuntarily squeezing the other woman's surprisingly small hand in her own as they walked out the door of the deli.

"Oh my Solari, they are _too_ adorable," Leona peaked out from inside the kitchen.

"You're not even supposed to be back here," Pantheon grumbled, whacking her in the back of the head with a baguette with a light _**thunk**_.

"But look at how _cute_ they are. I might actually cry," she pretended to sniffle. The Artisan shook his head with a sigh and returned to the kitchen, Leona still crouched slightly behind the doorframe, making fake crying noises.


End file.
